Adventist La Grange Memorial Hospital issued the following announcement on Oct. 19.
October is National Bullying Prevention Month, a time to remind ourselves how important it is to teach our children to take action when they see someone being bullied, either online or in real life. Bullying can cause lasting harm to its target, exacerbating anxiety, depression, self-harm, school absences and worse. How can we as parents teach our children to combat bullying?
Well, as counterintuitive as it might sound, we mustn’t use the word “bullying.” Getting kids — especially teens — to engage in any conversation that casts them in the role of either the person causing harm or being harmed is an uphill battle. Part of adolescent development is a belief that “bad stuff doesn’t happen to me and I don’t make bad stuff happen.” Instead, the AMITA Health Behavioral Institute recommends engaging your kids in the conversation by framing bullying prevention as “helping your friends.” Your child or teen might not believe something bad could happen to them, but they will believe it could happen to someone else.
Standing up for one’s friends can be scary, so it’s also important to teach your kids to respond in a way that fits who they are. As part of its Green Dot program, Alteristic suggests employing the “the 3 D’s” — Direct, Delegate and Distract — to help them identify an effective countermeasure that comes naturally:
Direct: Go to the person causing the harm and tell them to stop, or go to the person being harmed and ask if they are okay
Delegate: Tell someone who can help; often, we think “tell a trusted adult,” but delegation could also involve a close friend of the person being harmed or (on social media) flagging inappropriate content or behavior using the social-media platform’s reporting features
Distract: Do something to draw attention away from the person being harmed
Here are two scenarios you can use when talking to your kids, with examples of how to employ each of the 3 D’s. For practice, have your kids come up with their own examples and solutions.
The 3 D’s in Real Life
At the end of class, you notice someone waiting in the hall for your classmate. Your classmate looks scared.
Direct: Walk up the person waiting outside and ask why they are there OR ask your classmate if they want you to walk with them to their next class
Delegate: Ask your classmate’s friends to go walk with their friend OR tell the teacher that something doesn’t seem right
Distract: Get some people to form a crowd around your classmate OR go outside and ask the person waiting if they know how to solve a math problem, fix something on your phone, speak Spanish… anything that might divert their attention
The 3 D’s Online
In a group chat, some of your friends start to say cruel things about a classmate and suggest that they post what’s being said on an anonymous “hate page.”
Direct: Tell your friends to knock it off; make your opposition to the idea emphatic and unambiguous
Delegate: Show the messages to a trusted adult and ask for help OR start a side conversation with someone in the group and ask them to back you up
Distract: Flood the feed with silly memes and GIFs until it takes too much effort to get the conversation back on track
Learn more about the AMITA Health Behavioral Institute’s school and community programs for preventing bullying, as well as domestic and dating violence.
Original source can be found here.
Source: Adventist La Grange Memorial Hospital
Alerts Sign-up